Exactly What You Need to Face
One of the most radical principles of breathwork—and life itself—is this: whatever is happening in the moment is exactly what you need to face. As Stan Grof says:
“[Expanded] states of consciousness engage something like an ‘inner radar,’ bringing into consciousness automatically the contents from the unconscious that have the strongest emotional charge, are most psychodynamically relevant at the time, and are available for processing at that particular time.”
(from Psychology of the Future)
While the stories in your head from your ego mind may argue otherwise, in truth, from the perspective of your soul, the experience in front of you, right here and right now, is not random. It is the perfect doorway into your healing and growth.
That’s easy to accept when you’re having a big breakthrough or an expansive spiritual opening. But what about when you’re stuck? What about when you fall asleep? What about when you’re irritated because everyone else seems to be having some great, dramatic experience and you’re not? What about when you feel frustrated, or when you catch yourself judging that you’re “not doing it right”?
Those moments are not detours. They are the path.
A useful question in these times is: When have I ever in my life felt this way before?
Chances are it’s not new. In fact, it’s almost a certainty it’s an old familiar visitor. That irritation, boredom, frustration, self-judgment—these feelings have roots. They are echoes of earlier times in your life when you had to adapt, survive, or bury something you didn’t know how to process.
A Story of Irritation Turned Insight
I once worked with a woman in breathwork who would become very irritated whenever a certain song came on in a session. The first few times, she blamed the facilitator for choosing “bad music.” The irritation was so strong it pulled her out of her process and left her fuming.
Later, in a coaching conversation, I invited her to reflect on that question: When have you felt this before?
At first, she dismissed it. Then suddenly, a memory surfaced she hadn’t thought about in years. She was a teenager again, riding in the car with her father. He would insist on playing music she hated, and no matter how much she pleaded or got angry, he refused to change it. His words were final: “I’m the adult. I make the decisions.”
As the memory came alive in her breathwork session, she realized the music wasn’t the problem. The irritation was a doorway to that teenage helplessness and anger, feelings that had never been fully expressed. By allowing herself to re-experience the charge in a safe container, the irritation became a portal for healing. What began as blame for “bad music” transformed into a moment of growth and release.
Breathwork = Life
This is the essence of the Breathwork = Life principle: the patterns that arise in session are the very same ones playing out in your day-to-day existence. The irritations, frustrations, and judgments are not obstacles—they are messengers. Each one carries the imprint of earlier experiences that are ready to be met, felt, and integrated.
So next time you’re stuck, bored, or angry in a session—or in life—pause and ask: When have I felt this before? Instead of fighting the experience, let it show you the deeper story. Trust that whatever is happening—precisely, exactly, whatever it is—is the perfect medicine for your soul’s unfolding.