There’s a saying in breathwork that you’ll hear over and over: Trust the Process. And most of the time, that’s exactly what we need… a reminder to keep Trusting that there’s a deeper wisdom at play in the unfolding of our breathwork process. The best thing we can do is lean back into the breath, let go of control, and allow whatever needs to surface to rise and move through us.
But I have a story that’s stayed with me for years, because it captures another side of this truth.
I used to know a woman who came to breathwork regularly. Every session she’d wear the same t-shirt. On the front, big bold letters: “Trust the Process.” It was her reminder, her anchor.
She was doing some very deep work — the kind of childhood trauma that was very intense. There were times during sessions when I could hear her cries and screams echoing across the room. She wasn’t holding back.
One day, after an especially intense journey, she slipped into the bathroom when it was over. A few minutes later, she walked back out and the whole room noticed — her shirt was inside out.
And on the inside, written just as boldly as the front, were the words: “F*ck the Process.”*
We all laughed, because we knew exactly what she meant. Sometimes, even when you know the process is working, even when you know it’s leading you somewhere important, it feels unbearable. And in that moment, the truest thing in your body is to throw your hands up and say: f*ck it.*
Here’s what I took from that: both sides of her shirt were true.
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Trust the process is the compass that carries us.
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Fuck the process is the human cry when the path feels impossible to face or lean into.
And both are true.
Sometimes giving yourself permission to feel the frustration, the resistance, the anger — that is the process. Letting it out creates space for our deeper Trust to return in its own time.
So if you ever find yourself in the middle of a session thinking “I can’t do this” or “fuck this process,”* you’re not doing it wrong. You’re being real. And sometimes being real is exactly what you need to keep moving forward… one breath at a time.